Last week Holly took me and the boys to the Great Wolf Lodge in Niagara Falls for two days and one night. She won a package at a stag and doe recently, and after several hassles managed to get a room booked for the ideal date. The room was pretty sweet. It had a separate room for the boys, which was made to look like a log tree house. Everything in the building was plastic molds with foam cores. All the logs were wrapped in quarter inch thick vinyl, leading me to wonder whether there were even logs anywhere in the enormous “log” building. Most of the stones were plastic too.

The building  also had a bunch of animatronic creatures (talking trees, bears, moose, etc.), an indoor water park, and some interactive projections of fish that were impossible to step on.

The water park had some good slides, but they used a stupid conveyor belt to bring rafts for the slides to the top. It took so long for rafts to come up it caused a constant lineup for every slide. The ones I did go on were fun, but the best time I had was relaxing in the outdoor hot tub with Holly. The bed in our room was terrible, and everyone had a shit night of sleep. Breakfast was decent, but incredibly pricey.

Our room also had a nice balcony I could smoke on, and where Holly and I had Gage take our picture up top.

Another good thing about the lodge, was the gigantic strawberry daiquiris Holly frequently enjoyed.