This robot’s name is Bunchofkids. He’s angry, and he has an antenna he uses to control his kids. They spend most  of their days attacking good guys, but after a while they just blow up. They don’t have to brush their teeth, or clean their rooms. They just roll around killing good guys where they find them. They come from the planet Sladoosh in a robot galaxy that is far from earth.

This robot’s name is Spirit, and he’s a guardian. He kills guys that go in a jail cell full of guns. The guys are on the opposite team and want to use the guns to kill the team of Spirits. His main weapon is the Spirit Staff, which he can use to stab, hit, or make the red part glow and hit you and you go flying, and it also shoots lasers out of it. He’s a young guardian warrior also from the planet Sladoosh.

This robot’s name is Spikey Sword. He’s a main boss, and his main weapon is called the Double Sided Spike Spear. He shoots lasers from his eye, and kills any zombies that come to his earth (planet). He has the power of time. He can freeze guys so he can just chop their heads off and stuff. He can also speed time up to make himself heal faster. He’s really smart at everything and the only toys he ever had are weapons.

This robot’s name is Timer, because he has a timer on him. His only job is to kill enemies. His enemies are good guys. He’s over a million years old and has never had kids, and he’s had the same job his entire life. He never gets in trouble because he’s a robot and he can kill guys. He can’t skate, because there is no ice where he’s from.

This robot’s name is Nagare. He’s a ninja and he kills guys like a total spazz. He goes around like  ppfffffftt, wssshhhhh , thwckkk chaaaa, and he kills like 10 guys in 5 seconds. He’s super super fast, and he can also kill 50 guys in 10 seconds. He’s an only child, and all he has is his toys. His toys are also all weapons.

I had a bunch more robots made for this post, but at this point Roan got bored of this and wanted to go watch Gage play xbox. He promised to do more later, but I think by now he’s forgotten all about it.

I love how he still doesn’t get the difference between earth and planets (he thinks all planets are “earths”), and I’m shocked that he decided all robots are evil, and they all come from the same place. I was expecting more variety in their backgrounds, but apparently we’re taking the easy way out and making them all from the same place, with basically all the same attributes. Perhaps it’s my fault for colouring them too similar, or maybe it’s got to do with the fact that they are all just standing in limbo, and have no visual aids to help him create a back story. Either way, I had fun for the 20 minutes he spent with me.

I’m still trying to figure out the math regarding that ninja’s killing speed – if he kills 10 guys in 5 seconds, that’s easy: 2 guys/second. Now, 50 in 10 seconds works out to 5 guys/second. Does that mean between kill 1 and 10 he’s just warming up? Because if he can steadily kill guys at 5 MDK/second, then by the end of an 8 hour day he’d have killed 143 985 dudes. That’s like killing the entire population of St Catharines!! I know the perfect person he could start with too.