Angry Art, Animals, Roanisms


02.10.11 | Comment?

If you don’t own (or rent) a nine year old human you’re probably unaware of the existence of something known as Silly Bandz. You’re probably also equally unaware of how lucky you are to be ignorant to such a pointless waste of money and resources. I however am quite familiar with all things Silly Bandz since Roan brought his first ones home back in September. Back then he had maybe half a dozen and he rarely ever took them off his wrists. Fast forward to last week, his collection is now in the hundreds (partially our fault) and not one is on his wrist. Instead, they are scattered around his room and various locations in the house.

A few days ago I found three half eaten Silly Bandz in different spots, at different times. I told Roan how important it was that he not leave them lying around so the cats ate them. Although we love our cats, we could not afford to drop a few thousand dollars on stomach surgery because they’re retarded and can’t distinguish food from brightly neon coloured pieces of rubber. If faced with the decision of thousands of dollars to save one of their lives vs. letting them die, we would have to choose the latter. It would suck, but we would have to remember that we had done everything we could to give them a great life, even if it has to end prematurely. If we want to avoid that, we need to pick up our Silly Bandz.

The next morning I found a pile of cat barf with a half eaten, semi-digested Silly Band right in the middle of it. I called Roan and Holly downstairs to show them, and again tried to stress how important it was to not leave things like them laying around for the cats to get. I asked him if his Silly Bandz were more important than the cats, and if maybe he could consider which he’d rather keep forever. He decided to give away about 90% of his collection to his friends at school this week, and kept only a few dozen in his locker.

I was really proud that he was able to see which was more important, and was willing to make a sacrifice. He also told me he would have gotten rid of most of them sooner but he felt bad giving them away since lots of them were bought for him by Holly and I (oops!). I made him the above card as a thank you. I wanted to buy him something as a reward (something less dangerous to the cats), and to fill any feelings of emptiness left behind from saying goodbye to his collection of Silly Bandz, but I’m currently waiting on a paycheque. Once I can afford it though, I’m going to get him something cool.

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