If you grow up in Canada you should love tobogganing. If you don’t, it’s likely the result of shitty parenting. Perhaps that is why I felt it was my duty as the man of the house to bear the frigid -20°C weather and take the boys out “bombing hills” (as Roan would say) at 8am. I remember how much fun I had ripping down hills on my GT Snow Racer as a kid, and that coupled with my love for skating is likely why I still love winters. That being said, winters need snow or everything just looks dreary. This year has been good so far, and so was last year, but the years prior were quite mild and completely absent of snow. Any time we get a large amount of snow, I’m reminded of the fun I had in it as a kid. Now I realize I can still have that fun, it just hurts a little more.
I made plans the night before. I would wake the boys around 7:30, get ready and hit the hills at Fireman’s Park around 8:00, return home to change and pick up Holly around 9:45, then walk to Triple D’s for breakfast at 10:00. I wanted to go early so there wasn’t too many other people there, and I’m glad we did. We had the entire park to ourselves. Upon our arrival we found a small sled similar to the two we brought with us, and although it was broken it wasn’t broken enough that Roan couldn’t use it. I let the boys try each hill but they decided the first one was best. Roan wanted the three of us to race, so he took the little broken sled and was in charge of the countdowns. Gage and I both struggled to stay on our sled every run, making Roan the champion of the hill that day.
All of us were having so much fun the cold wasn’t as big an issue as the clock. Around when we were supposed to be leaving another family arrived. We decided to take three final runs to see who could go the farthest then head home and let this family have the entire park to themselves. Unfortunately all the snow melted two days later, and we haven’t had enough to go back. However, it is snowing right now! Perhaps we’ll get enough that I can take the boys out again this Saturday. It’s great starting the day with endless smiles and laughter.
As you may have already read over on Holly’s blog, there’s been a lot of late homework being done around here the past few weeks. Gage has decided to follow the same path I took in high school; do nothing all year, hand in just enough stuff (late) with the hope that with a decent enough exam mark you might scrape by with a 50%, so long as the teacher doesn’t hold all your absences against you. For the most part all this homework just meant I got to play a lot of Call of Duty. I really only get called on for help with anything Mathematics or Computers. I did however help brainstorm Gage’s English assignment where he had to create a myth, write about it, and then create a trailer for a film about his myth.
Holly told him to get at it after we ate dinner one night, and fifteen minutes later he was upstairs asking us for help. He said he didn’t get what he was supposed to do, and was having a hard time deciding on a myth. He was leaning towards the Loch Ness Monster until I asked if he had to use an existing myth, or if he was allowed to create one. I figured the latter would be the easiest option since we wouldn’t need to do any research, and had full liberty to go anywhere we wanted with it. I suggested to Gage that he take advantage of this chance to show his teacher how creative he can be. I told him to figure out a way to tell the story of how he got to where he was in real life with his homework. I figured it would show the teacher that he’s not dumb, he knows why he’s in this mess, and also to create a possible scapegoat. He knows the Xbox is what got him here, so why not make the mythological creature his homework-eating game console?
He started to get into the idea more and told us he had some thoughts and was going to go write, warning us as he made his way down the stairs that he would likely be returning shortly for more help. He came up a couple more times, but after about half an hour he had a pretty decent story about his Xbox (or the Procrastasauras) eating his homework and making him seem like a slacker. Fearing that no one will believe his story he’s doomed to fail the tenth grade. With the story outlined it was now time for us to shoot and edit a trailer. The students who did their assignments when they were supposed to had access to ipads to help them accomplish this. Gage had access to me.
Having never done any video editing before (well, maybe some really minor stuff) I was expected to pull this off in one night. I decided to stay true to my youth and wait until the last minute to find, download, and learn a video editing platform. I did this immediately after dinner while rolling and enjoying my post-meal smoke. I used some footage I shot of Dempsey playing in the snow, added some words, and put it all to a Skrillex track. I figured that was everything I would need to create Gage’s trailer, minus the props and any plan whatsoever. Before dinner, Gage pulled an old, broken Xbox out of the basement and made a robotic looking arm for it out of Bionicle parts. Now all we needed was a few paper props and Gage’s iphone. I had Gage make some fake homework while I shot some footage of the Xbox, then we shot a few scenes with Gage at the table doing his assignment and then entering
Roan’s bedroom his English classroom.
We spent about an hour editing and re-shooting a few things and in the end it turned out pretty decent. I had fun doing it, and I think Gage did too especially when we started shooting. It’s neat to see his school curriculum include stuff like this. I’d like to think that this type of stuff would have appealed to me more when I was his age and aided me in being interested enough to do work and hand it in, but I doubt it. School work is what it is, and that can’t compete with video games and partying with your friends.
Before ANYONE says anything like: “I thought you love animals… ” or, “I can’t believe you actually…”, please just fuck off. I didn’t eat the fish. I didn’t bait the hooks. I didn’t drive the boat. All I did was reel the big ones in that no one else wanted to fight with. That being said, I sure did have a blast punching the shit out of those stupid fish.
We all got to catch a bunch, taking turns based on the size of the fish. Roan took all the wee ones.
I got all the monsters.
And Holly and Gage shared the in-between-ers.
After about 4 hours on the water we hauled in almost a hundred pounds of fish. All of it salmon and trout. The charter guide filleted them all on the side of his boat once we were back at the dock, and we took home around sixty pounds of fillets. I had a ton of fun and would definitely do it again. None of these fish are going to waste so I don’t feel too bad.
And this has got to be my favourite fishing photo ever.
Gage is graduating next week. That means next year he starts high school, and will probably be exposed to all sorts of new and terrible things. When I was his age I had already tried a variety of different illegal drugs, and by the time I hit high school I had a daily habit of smoking pot at break. I highly doubt Gage is getting into the things I did at his age, but lately his sense of humor seems to focus around the subject of smokin’ da herb. Take, for example, the photo above. We were sitting at Williams, waiting for our order when Gage decides to roll up a sticker from the napkins into a fake joint and start pretend toking it. Seems harmless, probably is, but still I can’t help but think he’s either tried it, or talked about trying it with his buddies. At least, I know that’s what I would have been doing if I was sneaking out of a friends house at 3am and claiming I was “Just going to the store… we were hungry…”
That being said, I’m comparing Gage to myself. In my own opinion, I was a bad kid. Gage, on the other hand, is a good kid. He seems to get in a lot less trouble than I did, and although he occasionally makes a poor decision, he tends to understand reasoning, and feel genuine remorse if warranted. He seems to learn from his mistakes, which will help get him far in life, and keep him atop of the ‘most likable kid’ list for a long time. I only hope that if he does choose to start smoking pot, he’s comfortable talking about it with us. I’m not going to encourage it in any way, but I don’t want the kid dealing with the types of people I had to in order to obtain what I wasn’t supposed to have. I’d rather, if he ABSOLUTELY NEEDED to try it, he do it here, where we can make sure he doesn’t put himself in a bad situation. Hopefully, that is still a few years away though, or even better… never happens.
Gage has looked like this since his birthday. The other day he walked into a sign just 30 seconds after I took the top photo and made the comment “You’re going to walk into all kinds of shit if you’re staring at that thing all the time.”.
I wonder how many black eyes have been caused by Blackberrys.
When I was Gage’s age there was no Facebook. Instead, I used the phone to flirt with the females. Although it was often incredibly boring and annoyingÂ at least once I hung up the phone it was over. There was no record of anything anyone said. My parents couldn’t go back and review the transcripts, or post them on their blog.
For those who are without teenagers in their lives, this is a little insight into what you’re missing. And for those who have yet to witness it, here’s a sample of how fucking smooth Gage is with the ladies.
On Friday night, Roan had his friend Daylon (no, not Dylan) sleep over. Gage slept at his friend Josh’s, so Roan and Daylon took advantage of the tv being available and watched movies all night. Roan didn’t sleep at all, then woke Holly and I up around 6:30am. The next night he asked to have his friend Kyle stay over. Holly said sure, then Gage asked to have two of his friends stay as well. Holly again said sure, but on the condition that he wasn’t an asshole to his brother.
This morning Holly was up first (which is a first) and went down to check on the boys. It was obvious that Roan and Kyle fell asleep first, and Gage hadn’t really held up his end of the deal.
When I tried to take the above photo, Roan first tried to hide, but then he cooperated once we told him even the best of us have gotten the “first asleep” treatment. Plus, although it’s not something you’d want written on your arm, we decided he must actually like poo, since he rarely manages to flush it away.
As many of you already know, we’re all really big fans of the Russian made PPSH sub-machine gun in this family. Ask any of us what our favourite zombie slaying tool is, and I guarantee the answer would be the PPSH.
Gage is in the process of learning pneumatics and hydraulics right now. His class was assigned a project where they had to make something move using either pneumatic or hydraulic devices (syringes), so Gage chose to make something from Nazi Zombies. We’re creating the game’s Mystery Box, and are decorating its base with things you would see in the game. I decided to attempt to model a PPSH out of this Crayola clay stuff we found at Michaels. I think it turned out pretty good, and I’m amazed that my idea for blending two browns to make a wood grain finish sort of worked. I have modeled a PPSH in the past, but that was different.
I will make a post about his entire project once we’re done, which should be later tonight. Hopefully it works as good as it looks.
After raising him from a young age, and training him in the arts of cold blooded murder, he and his brother set out on a mission to save hot chicks with hewg bewbz from the evil lurking around every corner of this shit town. It didn’t take them long to eliminate most of the major threats within the city’s rotten core and life generally improved for most. Everything was looking great for the pair of vigilant brothers, who were in it strictly for the good of all the big bewbed hotties in town, and all the awesome guns they got to play with (/doubleentendre>).
It was all looking too good for too long. Something had to happen. Something always has to happen…
Unlike any other story ever told ever before, ever, something new happened… one brother betrayed the other! No one ever saw it coming ever. It was the best plotÂ conflict ever (you know, because how can the good guy kill the bad guy when no matter how evil he is, he’s still his bro, bro).
Through some incredible sequence of unlikely events, Roan was able to escape his brother (who was older AND trained HIM let’s not forget) and fled the country to build a weapon capable of destroying the brother who betrayed him – the V420 Vengeance-blaster. While away, his brother kidnapped the one hottie he actually loved, and kept her captive as insurance. He had no idea his little brother would return wielding deadly vengeance.
No one could have imagined the damage Gage was capable of doing in the short time Roan was absent from the town, but it would all soon come to an end, the streets would once again be peaceful. In the end it only took a single shot from the V420 to bring down the hero turned villian, and set in motion the events that would cause his empire of corruption to fall. Roan saved his love, and she gave him a silly band shaped like a heart andÂ two sticks of gum.
Then Roan went home and played with his cars and never picked them up… ever.