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Life, Love
Cheer up Cobras
08.26.10 | Permalink | Comment?

In the last 3 days I’ve gone from being extremely motivated and positive about the future, to wanting to curl up and die while the things I struggle to cope with overwhelm me.

First I lost an enormous amount of data and work, that I doubt I’ll be able to get back. This happened with one little click at around 12:30am Tuesday, while I was wrapping up a 12-15 hour work day (I suck at keeping track of hours). As a result I had a massive episode of panic, fear, anger, and suffered a huge blow to my motivation. I slept like shit and woke up completely devastated. I was already getting down about my money situation (nothing new really), and this was just something I didn’t need to have happen.

I decided to call James and let him know that the next deadline he and I had just discussed, was now going to need reevaluating. I was hoping he’d be supportive and maybe provide a little bit of a pep talk (something he’s done in the past when I was struggling), make things seem not as bad as the are. Instead I got to hear about his financial misfortune, and how I shouldn’t expect to see another paycheque for a while. He then said that the way he sees things, I can either put the project on hold until his funds are sorted or I can continue to work on it and get paid when he can afford it.

I’m not sure if I was just shocked, or if I’m as big of a pussy as Holly thinks I am, but I didn’t even think to ask him if I would be getting paid for the hours I had submitted the week prior (about 130 something hours). Instead, I just told James how badly I wanted to finish the book after investing so much time and energy into it thus far, and said – “Well, I really don’t want to pass this off to someone else, nor do I want to put it on the shelf with the intention of coming back to it some day (in case it never happens), so I guess I’ll just try and get it done as fast as possible, so you can start printing it and generating some money.”.

That would be fine if I still had some savings, but I don’t. I literally have $5 to my name, and even that should belong to VISA. I’m starting to bring Holly down with me, as she’s always willing to help me out. I feel like shit because I constantly fuck up, make wrong choices, and then I let it get so out of control it starts making the lives of the people I love difficult or miserable. I want to be a contributing factor in this family, and I feel like if that doesn’t start soon I need to remove myself before I do anymore damage. Holly shouldn’t have to worry about anything other than Gage and Roan. Me being in the equation just over-complicates things. I don’t want the boys missing out on anything because Holly had to cover my share of something. That’s not fair to her or them.

Today I officially stop working on the book (which is also sad because it so close to finished), and start looking for a job. In the meantime I’m hoping Social Assistance will be able to offer me some help. Holly sent out a couple resumes last night while I sat and tried to figure out how she writes cover letters so well and hated myself for sucking at it. There really isn’t much around here, but a couple positions we saw looked ideal for me. It may just be my negativity talking, but I really don’t expect to hear anything from anyone.

I have to find something positive in the immediate future. I can’t hide my misery at all and that’s not something the boys or Holly need to be exposed to. The only things that made me smile in the last two days was this card and a couple videos of the boys.

Roan is such a sweet kid, and I often give him a hard time because I’m an idiot. He spent an hour yesterday making me a card to cheer me up. It may not have solved my problems, but it definitely made me smile and melted my heart.

It’s things like this that make me think working a shitty job can’t be that bad if it means I get to still be a part of Holly and the boy’s lives. Now I just have to find a shitty job. Wish me luck…
Love, Random
Can’t we all just get a blog?
08.13.10 | Permalink | Comment?

The other night, Holly decided it was time for her to catchup to the rest of the planet and get herself a blog. She set herself up on blogger.com, and spent the evening customizing her layout and fonts. She has a few posts up right now, and lots more to come I’m sure. I highly recommend spending a few moments a day learning more about the lady who loves your favourite cobra. It might also help fill in the gaps between my ever lessening updates, for all you comrades who can’t get enough cobra.

Next stop – Aggravation Station!!!!
Life, Love, Photos
Canada Day without potato cannons?
07.03.10 | Permalink | 1 Comment

Thursday was Canada Day so Holly had the day off. We woke up early, after recieving news of my nephew’s safe arrival and decided to go check out the Friendship Festival since we weren’t allowed to visit before 2pm. I hadn’t been since I was probably 15 (I believe Rusty was headlining) and wasn’t sure what to expect. I sort of figured it would suck but I tend to have that attitude about lots of things so I kept quiet.

I was right. It was even worse than I expected. We walked a lap around the whole thing, and the only point of interest was a STIHL booth where they were holding lumberjack contests. They had lots of chainsaws, some large handsaws, and a mini pool for log rolling. Unfortunately the competitions didn’t start until 2pm, so we didn’t get to see any. I was more excited to go meet my mighty nephew anyway, and I guarantee no one parties like Gabriolans party on Canada Day.

Above is a photo of the best thing at the friendship festival – Holly. Nothing compares to her. She can make me love every second of the most boring place on the planet. I am very lucky and completely undeserving. <3
Love, Photos
Coolest wedding invitations ever!
05.21.10 | Permalink | Comment?

Yesterday we received the coolest wedding invitation I’ve ever seen. Our friends Syx and Taryn are getting married this August in Vancouver, and with any luck maybe we’ll get to go. Not only would I like to attend the wedding, but I miss my west coast peeps.

If you’re interested (or just bored) take a few minutes to check out some of Syx’s photography. He does everything from post apocalyptic erotica to fun things I can’t really explain. It’s all really neat stuff and a lot of it features hawt bewbs, so you really can’t go wrong.

If you’re not in a bewb mood then what the fuck is wrong with you? perhaps you’d prefer to check out The Hanna Panda Chronicles (honestly, the names are a pure coincidence – we didn’t even know each other when I created this blog), which is full of images of little Hanna (Syx and Taryn’s 1 year old daughter), and lots of stories of her daily doings.
Love, Photos, Roanisms
Mother’s Day Mania!
05.06.10 | Permalink | 1 Comment

Yesterday Roan brought home another card he made for Holly, for Mother’s Day. This one is a lot bigger than the previous one, and even features a third (and fourth I suppose) page, complete with pop-up hearts, and fresh water-park doodles!

I can’t wait to see what he brings home today.

* Notice (or rather, nodes) the fat guy. Roan pointed him out to me. Not sure why. He just said “Look how fat that guy is.”, and I said “Is that because he’s carrying a tube up the slide?”, “Nope, he’s just a fatso.”.

I doubt anyone over at the Hallmark factory (in Toronto) has ever even thought to include a fat guy on a water slide in a Mother’s Day card. They’re usually just boring flowers, or a picture of a watering can or something.This is not only much cooler, but also more personal. I think I will make my mum a card using my talents, and my words. I can see how heartwarming it must be to hear about all the things someone loves/appreciates about you (especially after giving your whole life to making sure that someone had a happy existence).
Love, Photos, Roanisms
Fabulis mom’s deserve fabulis gifts
05.06.10 | Permalink | Comment?

On top of the box goodies I found yesterday afternoon Roan brought home something special for Holly, for Mother’s Day. I wasn’t going to post any pictures of it and ruin the surprise, but since I see it sitting on her side table I assume he already gave it to her.

Two things I love about it: he’s decided the word “To:” has redundancies and therefore condensed it down to “T:” (I have to agree with him, that’s a lot of round characters in one spot), the other is the classic backwards card. I did this a million times as a kid, and I remember how when I was that age I’d realize I did something wrong and think – “Oh well, it’s still a card.”, where as now I’d be frustrated and feel defeated until I redid it and got it perfect.

I think my parents still have some things I made when I was Roan’s age. I’m going to ask, and see if I can scan or take photos of some of the stuff if they have anything. I wish I had my journals from Gordon School. They were packed full of awesome drawings.
Angry Art, Love, Sketchup
Beam me up hottie
03.13.10 | Permalink | Comment?

Here is a rendering of my Starfleet Holly robot. It was really hard to make her eyes emit blue light. No matter how dark the colour was or how low I set the power, it seemed to always be too bright. Even these are too bright for me, but she does have really bright blue eyes in real life, so I suppose it’s not too inappropriate.

What is inappropriate however, is my love for her shiny robot bewbs. I want to motorboat the hell out of those metal melons!
Angry Art, Life, Love, Sketchup
Even as a robot she’s too hot for me
02.16.10 | Permalink | Comment?

I’ve modeled so many new things in the last 2 weeks. Most of it was for Holly’s Valentine’s Day gift, and all of it was fun to make. I won’t share all the details, but I had no money so I wrote Holly a story about how she mended my broken heart.

I used the lamp model as a cop-out back when I made Bongbot, because I wanted something to represent Holly and it was thin and illuminating. She wasn’t too impressed with the fact that I hadn’t put any effort into her, and I’ve always felt bad about it.

I decided to make a new robot that clearly represents her, and that evolved into me modeling her, the boys, the cats, and just about everything else – including the kitchen sink!. It took hours, and I had to work on it only when she and the boys weren’t here, so I was constantly thinking I wouldn’t finish in time, but I got it done, and it turned out better than I ever expected.

I surprised her with that, and some orange roses (thanks to my mum and my friend Jackie for their help with the flowers) when we got home from Toronto. I figured if the story flopped, the flowers would possibly redeem me. Luckily she liked them both.

Here are some of the models I made for her gift:

Kanika and Oliver

Holly, Gage and Roan

Holly and Bongbot in Starfleet uniforms
Health, Life, Love, Random, Video
Holly’s photonic-puppy-peepers
01.18.10 | Permalink | Comment?

Holly had her laser eye surgery ten days ago, and was on vacation the entire time. Her company, coupled with my laziness, prevented me from doing any blog updating. I had intended to write all about her surgery on here, and post a video of the procedure, but didn’t want to do so until she was able to watch the video, and look at the images to give her stamp of approval (well, all but one… can you guess which one got fast-tracked and bypassed approval?). Or maybe I was just using that as an excuse to be lazy longer.

Anyway, here it is:

Holly’s Super Big Fun Laser Eye Adventure Here We Go Awesome!

It began with the usual waiting room stuff, then after a short wait we went into an office to have a preliminary interview with one of the nurse people. She told us what to expect, and how to take care of her eyes after the operation then asked if we had any questions. Holly asked her if she could tell her what her eyesight would be after the procedure – meaning 20/20, 15/20 40/20?? – and the girl said “Oh, you have what we refer to as three finger vision. Basically, if you can’t see the big “E” at the top of the letter chart, we hold up three fingers just to make sure you’re not blind.” – Yikes! After a few more questions, she told me if I wanted to I could watch them do the procedure. Of course I jumped at the opportunity, and am always ready with my camera.

I had to stand behind glass in another room for sterilization reasons, but they had a monitor showing the procedure which I was able to see. I took a video of the whole procedure, but split it into parts. This is the best one, and shows the end of the first eye, and most of the second eye.

She didn’t seem too bothered by the whole ordeal, but was in intense pain almost immediately after. I took her home and went to retrieve a prescription for pain medicine.

When we got home, Roan was glad to see that she was okay – he had been worried sick while we were gone. Then he asked what colour Holly’s new eyes were. I then realized he thought she had an eye transplant. I, being the clever, playful cobra I am, decided to tell him she had a pair of puppy eyes put in. Beagle eyes, that were the same colour. He believed me for a minute, but then Holly ruined the game with her truth bullshit.

Hopefully once her eyes are fully healed she can see zombies coming at her a little better.
Life, Love, Photos
Your snow is no match for our scarfs
01.04.10 | Permalink | Comment?

This is a photo of the backyard at Holly’s house right now. The snow is so high, but the picture doesn’t accurately depict it. It’s literally been snowing this big fluffy snow for 3 days now, with no breaks at all.

Thankfully Holly owns a snow-blower, or my back would be in major pain right now. Her driveway is huge, and would take me an hour at least with a shovel. I’ve had to use it 3 times in the last 24 hours, and I actually think I enjoy it. I just need to find my warm winter boots and it might be my new favourite chore.

The other benefit to the snow-blower is that I don’t have to rush inside afterward and strip off my layers of clothing because I’m sweating like mad, and have exhausted my energy reserves. This (coupled with my newly acquired Nerf gun) has been making me want to build a snow fort really bad. Unfortunately the snow is not pack-y at all, and is therefore practically useless.

Although it did provide a nice background for a walk with Holly last night. A walk which provided us both with a chance to sport our custom made scarfs, courtesy of the Queen Cobra.

That’s Holly bundled up with her new grey Silver Scarf of Power. It keeps her warm and grants her level 7 enchanted embalming radial attacks with +2 to hotness.

An here I am in my Super Space Invading Scarf of Skillage. It keeps that animal growing on my throat warm (although you’d think something with that much fur would stay warm fine on it’s own), and adds +5 to all skills and +1000 to deadly good looks.

Both worked awesome, and now lie resting for when their powers are next called upon. (Thanks mum <3)