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Love, Photos
Lucky cobra
11.16.10 | Permalink | Comment?

Holly and the boys are back from their week at Disney. They got home Saturday night, and the first thing Gage did was push his brother and say “Get out of the way idiot!”, then ran downstairs to play Black Ops until he had to go to bed. Roan left immediately and went to go stay with Holly’s parents for the night. Holly and I hung out and talked about her adventures and she gave me a souvenir she got me (Superman undies!), then we tried to kill some Black Ops zombies.

You can read all about their adventures (if you haven’t already) over on Holly’s blog. It looks like they had a blast, and I’m pretty bummed I didn’t go. I don’t personally get the taking photos with people in costumes thing, but I wouldn’t have had a problem with it. The space stuff all looked really cool. Holly and Roan sent me post cards they made at the Mission Space thing (click their names to view them).

While I was alone for the week I thought about a lot of things. Mainly how much I love Holly and the boys, and how I suck at treating them like they mean the world to me. I need to get out of this depression funk I have been in for the last 2 years, and I need to stop being so unhealthy. I’m fairly certain my shortness with others stems from my displeasure with myself and my choices.

I often forget how great my life is, and how fortunate I am that Holly and the boys let me be part of theirs. I’m so happy they’re back and that everything went so well while they were away. They were only gone a week, but with Holly posting photos (like the one above) of her beautiful smile on a daily basis, it made it seem like forever.

She truly is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen.
Love, Photos
Holly
10.18.10 | Permalink | Comment?

I am so fortunate to have such a beautiful lady who puts up with all my crap. I can’t begin to explain how much she means to me, so let’s just all bask in her beauty.
Love, Photos
Cobra custom cash card
09.20.10 | Permalink | Comment?

Saturday was Holly’s birthday. I haven’t been able to obtain the materials I need to construct her shelves yet (hopefully today is the day though), but I did make her a card. Since her and the boys are heading to Disney in November, all she wanted was American money, so I decided to make her card out of money and put a note inside.

It wasn’t my first idea, but I struggled with figuring out how to make a decent card. Then I remembered that Holly brought home a bunch of paper clips a few weeks ago when she brought a stack of resumes for me to sign. Before that I was going to attempt to fold the money into a card, but I didn’t want to crease the bills – they came out of the bank machine feeling fake they were so fresh! I used every paper clip we had, it took me about 15 minutes and a lot of patience.

If I had more money to give I’d have made it a little different. I would have weaved the bills so that it was more firm (and possibly omit the paper clips), but I think that would have taken at least another $200.

Later today I have to call about getting lumber for the shelves, and then hopefully by this evening I’ll be laying out joints in the basement. Holly is off to So You Think You Can Dance tonight (and again next week), and the boys are at their dad’s. With any luck I can have all the layout done on at least one set of shelves before she even gets home, and maybe even some of the cutting.
Angry Art, Love, Sketchup
Birthday bookshelves now allow for possible picture frames
09.13.10 | Permalink | Comment?

Looks like I spoke too soon on my previous post. After sleeping on it, and a little salesmanship on my behalf, Holly changed her mind on the birthday bookshelf. On Saturday morning I had to model a mock up of what built-in bookshelves would look like so Holly could see the difference.

After agreeing to change the design so it can accommodate a third shelf, and eliminating the 10° slope so the shelves are not limited to books but can also be used to rest picture frames on when needed, she agreed to go with my original design.

I spent a few minutes yesterday afternoon making the changes to the model, and dimensioning some new shop drawings. Overall, the design hasn’t changed that much. It’s now 8″ taller, and there are three sets of plumb/level shelves which are perfect for picture frames, and books. I also decided to make the wedges a little bigger on the vertical supports. The original design had them smaller on one tenon than on the other, but I decided to make life easier by using the same size for all.

I plan to go later today and see what wood I can get that would be suitable for this design. My dad lent me his circular saw, since I have yet to replace the one I left in someone’s car, but I’d rather use a table saw so I’m hoping Holly’s dad will let me use his and possibly his surface planer (if needed). With any luck I will have at least one (hopefully 3) completed before Saturday.

It’s very important we get these vampire novels, and bombshell bio’s off the carpet A.S.A.P.
Book stuff, Life, Love
Cheer up Cobras
08.26.10 | Permalink | Comment?

In the last 3 days I’ve gone from being extremely motivated and positive about the future, to wanting to curl up and die while the things I struggle to cope with overwhelm me.

First I lost an enormous amount of data and work, that I doubt I’ll be able to get back. This happened with one little click at around 12:30am Tuesday, while I was wrapping up a 12-15 hour work day (I suck at keeping track of hours). As a result I had a massive episode of panic, fear, anger, and suffered a huge blow to my motivation. I slept like shit and woke up completely devastated. I was already getting down about my money situation (nothing new really), and this was just something I didn’t need to have happen.

I decided to call James and let him know that the next deadline he and I had just discussed, was now going to need reevaluating. I was hoping he’d be supportive and maybe provide a little bit of a pep talk (something he’s done in the past when I was struggling), make things seem not as bad as the are. Instead I got to hear about his financial misfortune, and how I shouldn’t expect to see another paycheque for a while. He then said that the way he sees things, I can either put the project on hold until his funds are sorted or I can continue to work on it and get paid when he can afford it.

I’m not sure if I was just shocked, or if I’m as big of a pussy as Holly thinks I am, but I didn’t even think to ask him if I would be getting paid for the hours I had submitted the week prior (about 130 something hours). Instead, I just told James how badly I wanted to finish the book after investing so much time and energy into it thus far, and said – “Well, I really don’t want to pass this off to someone else, nor do I want to put it on the shelf with the intention of coming back to it some day (in case it never happens), so I guess I’ll just try and get it done as fast as possible, so you can start printing it and generating some money.”.

That would be fine if I still had some savings, but I don’t. I literally have $5 to my name, and even that should belong to VISA. I’m starting to bring Holly down with me, as she’s always willing to help me out. I feel like shit because I constantly fuck up, make wrong choices, and then I let it get so out of control it starts making the lives of the people I love difficult or miserable. I want to be a contributing factor in this family, and I feel like if that doesn’t start soon I need to remove myself before I do anymore damage. Holly shouldn’t have to worry about anything other than Gage and Roan. Me being in the equation just over-complicates things. I don’t want the boys missing out on anything because Holly had to cover my share of something. That’s not fair to her or them.

Today I officially stop working on the book (which is also sad because it so close to finished), and start looking for a job. In the meantime I’m hoping Social Assistance will be able to offer me some help. Holly sent out a couple resumes last night while I sat and tried to figure out how she writes cover letters so well and hated myself for sucking at it. There really isn’t much around here, but a couple positions we saw looked ideal for me. It may just be my negativity talking, but I really don’t expect to hear anything from anyone.

I have to find something positive in the immediate future. I can’t hide my misery at all and that’s not something the boys or Holly need to be exposed to. The only things that made me smile in the last two days was this card and a couple videos of the boys.

Roan is such a sweet kid, and I often give him a hard time because I’m an idiot. He spent an hour yesterday making me a card to cheer me up. It may not have solved my problems, but it definitely made me smile and melted my heart.

It’s things like this that make me think working a shitty job can’t be that bad if it means I get to still be a part of Holly and the boy’s lives. Now I just have to find a shitty job. Wish me luck…
Love, Random
Can’t we all just get a blog?
08.13.10 | Permalink | Comment?

The other night, Holly decided it was time for her to catchup to the rest of the planet and get herself a blog. She set herself up on blogger.com, and spent the evening customizing her layout and fonts. She has a few posts up right now, and lots more to come I’m sure. I highly recommend spending a few moments a day learning more about the lady who loves your favourite cobra. It might also help fill in the gaps between my ever lessening updates, for all you comrades who can’t get enough cobra.

Next stop – Aggravation Station!!!!
Life, Love, Photos
Canada Day without potato cannons?
07.03.10 | Permalink | 1 Comment

Thursday was Canada Day so Holly had the day off. We woke up early, after recieving news of my nephew’s safe arrival and decided to go check out the Friendship Festival since we weren’t allowed to visit before 2pm. I hadn’t been since I was probably 15 (I believe Rusty was headlining) and wasn’t sure what to expect. I sort of figured it would suck but I tend to have that attitude about lots of things so I kept quiet.

I was right. It was even worse than I expected. We walked a lap around the whole thing, and the only point of interest was a STIHL booth where they were holding lumberjack contests. They had lots of chainsaws, some large handsaws, and a mini pool for log rolling. Unfortunately the competitions didn’t start until 2pm, so we didn’t get to see any. I was more excited to go meet my mighty nephew anyway, and I guarantee no one parties like Gabriolans party on Canada Day.

Above is a photo of the best thing at the friendship festival – Holly. Nothing compares to her. She can make me love every second of the most boring place on the planet. I am very lucky and completely undeserving. <3
Love, Photos
Coolest wedding invitations ever!
05.21.10 | Permalink | 1 Comment

Yesterday we received the coolest wedding invitation I’ve ever seen. Our friends Syx and Taryn are getting married this August in Vancouver, and with any luck maybe we’ll get to go. Not only would I like to attend the wedding, but I miss my west coast peeps.

If you’re interested (or just bored) take a few minutes to check out some of Syx’s photography. He does everything from post apocalyptic erotica to fun things I can’t really explain. It’s all really neat stuff and a lot of it features hawt bewbs, so you really can’t go wrong.

If you’re not in a bewb mood then what the fuck is wrong with you? perhaps you’d prefer to check out The Hanna Panda Chronicles (honestly, the names are a pure coincidence – we didn’t even know each other when I created this blog), which is full of images of little Hanna (Syx and Taryn’s 1 year old daughter), and lots of stories of her daily doings.
Love, Photos, Roanisms
Mother’s Day Mania!
05.06.10 | Permalink | 1 Comment

Yesterday Roan brought home another card he made for Holly, for Mother’s Day. This one is a lot bigger than the previous one, and even features a third (and fourth I suppose) page, complete with pop-up hearts, and fresh water-park doodles!

I can’t wait to see what he brings home today.

* Notice (or rather, nodes) the fat guy. Roan pointed him out to me. Not sure why. He just said “Look how fat that guy is.”, and I said “Is that because he’s carrying a tube up the slide?”, “Nope, he’s just a fatso.”.

I doubt anyone over at the Hallmark factory (in Toronto) has ever even thought to include a fat guy on a water slide in a Mother’s Day card. They’re usually just boring flowers, or a picture of a watering can or something.This is not only much cooler, but also more personal. I think I will make my mum a card using my talents, and my words. I can see how heartwarming it must be to hear about all the things someone loves/appreciates about you (especially after giving your whole life to making sure that someone had a happy existence).
Love, Photos, Roanisms
Fabulis mom’s deserve fabulis gifts
05.06.10 | Permalink | Comment?

On top of the box goodies I found yesterday afternoon Roan brought home something special for Holly, for Mother’s Day. I wasn’t going to post any pictures of it and ruin the surprise, but since I see it sitting on her side table I assume he already gave it to her.

Two things I love about it: he’s decided the word “To:” has redundancies and therefore condensed it down to “T:” (I have to agree with him, that’s a lot of round characters in one spot), the other is the classic backwards card. I did this a million times as a kid, and I remember how when I was that age I’d realize I did something wrong and think – “Oh well, it’s still a card.”, where as now I’d be frustrated and feel defeated until I redid it and got it perfect.

I think my parents still have some things I made when I was Roan’s age. I’m going to ask, and see if I can scan or take photos of some of the stuff if they have anything. I wish I had my journals from Gordon School. They were packed full of awesome drawings.