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If you suspect you’re a bit nuts, you should read this.
08.17.10 | Permalink | Comment?

Holly recently posted a story on her blog about some crazy things she had to deal with at work last week. I did a google search for an appropriate image to accompany this post, and came up with the above. It’s fancy.
Love, Random
Can’t we all just get a blog?
08.13.10 | Permalink | Comment?

The other night, Holly decided it was time for her to catchup to the rest of the planet and get herself a blog. She set herself up on blogger.com, and spent the evening customizing her layout and fonts. She has a few posts up right now, and lots more to come I’m sure. I highly recommend spending a few moments a day learning more about the lady who loves your favourite cobra. It might also help fill in the gaps between my ever lessening updates, for all you comrades who can’t get enough cobra.

Next stop – Aggravation Station!!!!
Random, Video
Guess who’s getting what for xmas!
07.30.10 | Permalink | Comment?

This made me laugh so hard when I saw it. I couldn’t even believe it was serious.

Now this model I see the potential in. It’s not being bought by women who care about their arm fat. It’s being bought by dudes who think they can pull some sort of Pavlovian brainwashing over on their wives.

- Honey, I can’t find my Shake Weight anywhere, and I always work out after Oprah – she’s so inspiring!

- Haven’t seen it dear. <shoves Shake Weight further into golf bag>

- Have you got anything lying about that fits comfortably in my hands and I can shake above my chest for 6 minutes?

- Uhm, let me have a look… In my pants!

This is also sort of funny, and relevant.
Random, Roanisms, Video
Cobra Car Conversations Chapter One: Crackhouses
07.24.10 | Permalink | Comment?

This is the first installment (of many hopefully) of a new segment I call Cobra Car Conversations.

In this chapter we discuss the shitty neighbourhood we travel through on the way home from soccer practice, crack houses, meth labs, grow-ops, steroids, and Roan’s lack of growth and appetite, as well as his desire to get “fatter”, and how Gage was a dick at his birthday party.

My favourite parts: Josh’s misunderstanding of what goes on at a crackhouse, and his attempt at sneaking his seatbelt off while no one is looking (even after Roan showed him the proper way!!).
Angry Art, Random, Sketchup
Paradax
07.08.10 | Permalink | Comment?

The other day I was working on some accessories for my brother’s model of Mighty Felix when my friend Shawn dropped by for a visit. I had just finished making an ax and was working on a set of arms to hold it when Shawn pointed out that from our point of view it looked like a dude was holding an ax, but HE IS the ax! I quickly saw what he was talking about and we decided to call him Paradax (get it?).

A warning to Sketchup’ers out there: Smoking pot while modeling can result in lengthy conversations about questions without answers, and ridiculous renderings of things that don’t make sense. However, it’s also awesome.
Angry Art, Random, Sketchup, The Mighty One
Mighty models
07.06.10 | Permalink | Comment?

I’ve been trying to go see my nephew for the last few days, but it never seems to work out. I was supposed to go on Sunday, but my brother and family weren’t home in the morning, and we were at Holly’s parent’s all evening. Then I wanted to go last night when Holly got home, but after reading numerous updates about how little sleep the new parents have been getting I was hesitant to call for fear of waking anyone up.

Possibly tonight I will have a chance, but we’ll see. My brother has an interview in the evening with some union or something, but I’m hoping afterwards he’ll have time for us to visit. I know he’s dying to see the UFC from the past weekend (which I have) so perhaps I can bribe him.

I also need to give him the M.F. Loomis model I made for him. I want to make some changes, and my brother had a few requests so I will spend a few minutes this afternoon fixing it.

Above is a new X-family portrait.

I really wish I had a rapid-prototyper.
Animals, Random, Video
Cobra controlled burns
06.30.10 | Permalink | 2 Comments

Last night I went outside for a moment, and noticed a massive pile of ants on the back patio. We don’t own Raid© so normally Holly will pour a pot of boiling water on them. I figured if I was going to commit insect genocide, I might as well do it with some pizzazz. I grabbed the camera and lighter fluid, and one minute and ten seconds later I not only had the infestation issue solved, but also a nice warm snack.

Originally I was going to post the video with it’s natural soundtrack, but the crackling of souls is deafening. I then attempted to overdub some Bon Jovi, but quickly aborted when I realized it was more effort than 5 clicks on youtube. I decided to go with the free easy stuff that is catalogued over on youtube, and chose a track based on two criteria: no lyrics, relevant name.

So please enjoy these horribly violent images, and the musical styling of two random dudes who could very well be ant rights activists but because they named their free song on youtube “Into the Flames 2″, they are now part of the global ant roasting machine.

*Disclaimer*

No ants were hurt during the filming of this production – they had their souls incinerated on a sub-molecular level, which I assume is painless.
Life, Photos, Random
Dude, where’s your gas?
06.25.10 | Permalink | Comment?

So this morning I was eliminating tangos with some friends, and the Dude messages me asking if I’m busy and would I like to go hit some golf balls with him. I said sure since it’s such a nice day out, and I enjoy hitting things. The Dude said he’d come get me around 2pm.

If you know the Dude at all you obviously know he lives by a dynamic clock, and in the past “Five minutes” has meant anywhere from 2 hours to 3 days. I therefore felt it necessary to stress the importance of my being back home to Holly’s by 3:30 for when Roan gets home from school. Luckily he was right on time (if you’re a Dude) and arrived at around 2:20 to retrieve me. He was driving a white jeep someone lent him while his Mercedes is being looked at.

He took the scenic route to the range after stating “I don’t trust this thing enough to take it on the expressway.”, and a short time later we ran out of gas at the top of a hill. We coasted down the hill, managing to maintain the posted limit the entire time and finally came to a halt at a stop light about 2km from where we stalled. We left the jeep and walked over to the gas station near the on-ramp. After a bit of a hike we returned with a can of gas, and several attempts at starting later we were back on the road with our new goal of just taking me home before Roan got there.

Less than two minutes after we were cruising towards the gas station so the Dude could fill up, he reaches over to pull a cigarette out of his pack and a $20 bill along with a $10 bill get caught in the wind ang go flying. The $20 luckily caught a down draft and fell to the floor, but the $10 took off out the window.

After a sudden U-turn we quickly located the airborne bill and got back on the road. We got back just in time, and I honestly couldn’t care less that I didn’t get to hit a golf ball. In fact, it might be my best round of golf ball whacking I’ve ever had.
Photos, Random
Cobra identity crisis
06.07.10 | Permalink | 1 Comment

I grew lots of hair on my head and face over the last couple of months. I was attempting to grow a sweet beard and wanted to double check on my hairline, but as of last night I got tired of it. I’m not balding (or if I am, not much) and my beard looked ratty.

I decided to have some fun before shaving it all off…

I call this look the Convicted Sex Offender. It makes me feel creepy like I’m one of those 35 year old dudes with a paper route and a wardrobe consisting of sweatpants and shirts that came free in a case of beer. Just picture me on a ten speed with my ass crack hanging out.

I call this look the Mercenary. I actually considered keeping this look and growing the goatee so I could braid it and be even more cool. Then I remembered asking Holly to shave me a mohawk once and she said no because I wasn’t 15 years old.

I call this look the Chicken Nightmare. I’m pretty sure you can figure out why.

And this is my new look!

It’s called the Burnaby Q. Cobra. Holly totally hates it, and it’s going to completely block me from any sort of sexual activities, but it’s so neat. It’s like something a WWII fighter pilot would sport while blasting Gerry’s out of the sky.
Photos, Random, TV
Cobras can’t chuck crappy CRT’s
06.02.10 | Permalink | 1 Comment

Last week we put 4 relatively haggard bicycles out at the end of the driveway in hopes that someone would give them a good home. The first evening they were there, some kid riding by asked us to save Gages old “chopper” for him (he was stoned). I put it up by the house and said to come back that night. He didn’t, so we put it back at the curb the next morning. All four bikes disappeared a short time later. I assume kids did much the same thing I did when I was younger, and saw a quick way to school so you grab the bike then ditch it somewhere, hoping it would be there after school so you could ride it most of the way home before smashing it.

Today I put the above t.v. out at the curb hoping someone would take it, but I was forced to bring it inside after it started raining. I’m amazed at how difficult this thing is to give away. I’m even more amazed that Goodwill told us to get bent when we asked them to take it. The lady there said they can’t take anything older than five years. I can’t imagine anyone is bringing 5 year old or newer t.v.’s to them. I wonder how many people drop off working plasma screens to them regularly…