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Roanisms

Roanisms, Video
Rwn Pwnz Planes
09.01.10 | Permalink | Comment?

Last night while at Heather’s Roan got a little bored, so he picked up a watering can and started pretending it was a gun. Gage and I had some questions about the design/mechanics of the pretend weapon, and all of it was captured in the video above. Enjoy!

…and if you’re reading this from an enemy air patrol, be warned! Those 100 cal. watering cans are capable of locking on from over 10 000 kilometers away. Bitch!
Random, Roanisms, Video
Cobra camera co-op
08.26.10 | Permalink | Comment?

Last week, when Gage went to his friends cottage for a few days, I lent him my old camera (the one that has no flash and constantly flashes an error code on screen) which still works for videos and photos in bright places. When he got home the other day, I asked to see his photos. He said he had forgotten all about it, and had only taken “two really cool videos” with it. I was excited to see these “really cool videos” so I turned the camera on and hit play. Both videos were about 35 seconds long, and both were videos of him and Mac playing Call of Duty. Neither was “really cool”, and it seemed like a waste of taking a camera up north for a week.

Later, Holly and I were watching tv, and Gage came to ask if he could use the camera to film Roan. I said sure, then forgot all about it. Yesterday I woke up miserable, and stayed that way for most of the day. Then I saw my camera sitting on the table and remembered that Gage was using it the night before. I hit the play button to see what he’d recorded and it instantly brought a smile to my face.

The first video is the best. It reminds me of me as a kid. I had a stuffed bear that was about the same height as me, and I would wrestle and toss him all over my parent’s house right up until I was probably Gage’s age. The video got even better when Roan started teabag’ing his stuffed animal and Gage chimes in – making his presence known for the first time – by saying “You go Tiger!” in his attempt at a lisp-y voice.

This second video is just Roan trying to convince Gage to make a funny video with him, but Gage isn’t willing. Roan then tries to get Gage to take a picture of him in a cool pose, which then turns into him smashing the chair with a broom handle repeatedly. Not as great as the first video, but it still makes me laugh.

I’m definitely going to have to let them use that camera more.
Roanisms, Video
Cobra Inquisition: Aliens
08.17.10 | Permalink | Comment?

Rwn

Duhltron

Here’s the second installment in my latest blog feature, the Cobra Inquisition. This is where I post videos of my best friend’s responses to my stupid questions. The first segment focused on asking questions about animals, and it was a lot of fun. This segment is focused on aliens and space.

Ladies and gentlemen prepare yourself for the Cobra Inquisition: Aliens

-Do you believe in aliens?

-Do you prefer the word alien, or xenomorph?

-Why?

-Who was the first person in space?

-Can you name all the planets in our solar system?

-What’s your favourite planet?

-Why?

-If aliens came to earth and asked you to show them a fun time, where would you take them, and what would you do?

-What would you tell an alien to convince him that humans are cool and that we should hang out more?

-Would you eat fruit from an alien planet?

-Would you eat an alien?

-Should we trust aliens?

Thanks again to Dallas and Jenna for their help and participation. Stay tuned for our next segment which I’ve already begun preparring the questions for.
Music, Roanisms, Video
Kid Cobra busts some beats
08.17.10 | Permalink | Comment?

Yesterday I was in the middle of playing some Borderlands while on my lunch break, when Roan turned around from his computer and asked me “Did you know there is a video of me on Youtube?”. I said “Yup, I’ve seen lots of you on there.”. He must have thought I meant I see him on there, using that website a lot. He said “No, I mean there’s actually a real video of me, playing drums, on youtube… it’s called 9 year old drummer.”.

After searching for 15 minutes he got pissed because there was ten million videos of nine year olds playing the drums, and his was nowhere to be found. I told him I would gladly record him playing, and upload it to youtube for him. He said “No, that’s okay.”, like he usually does, but then changed his mind moments later. He asked me to not start filming right away, so of course I had to (I didn’t want to miss anything good!), and then I faked like I wasn’t recording yet when he decided he was ready. Hopefully he’s not mad at me for recording him being embarassed. I think I’ll lie and tell him my camera is weird sometimes and I didn’t realize it was filming already.
Roanisms, Video
Cobra Inquisition: Animals
08.15.10 | Permalink | 1 Comment

Rwn

Duhltron

A little while ago I had an idea to ask Roan and Dallas a series of questions. I figure they both have a tendency to let their imagination travel to weird places, and could provide some humorous blog material. It also might be interesting to compare their responses given the 20 year age gap.

Here is the first installment of The Cobra Inquisition: Animals

-What’s your favourite animal?

-Why?

-What animal would you most like to ride?

-How many ACR rounds do you think it would take to bring down a T-rex?

-Would you eat a T-rex? (if it wasn’t full of bullets)

-Who do you think would win in a fight; a monkey riding a donkey with a .50 cal mounted on it, or a magic dolphin?

-Would you rather have the ability to fly like a bird, or stay under water like a fish?

-Why?

-Do you miss the dinosaurs?

-What’s your favourite colour of dragon?

-What is a hybrid?

-If you could combine two animals together to make your own hybrid, which two would you combine, and what would you call the new animal?

-Why do you think tigers and zebras have the same type of stripes?

-If you had to fight cow with your bare hands, what would your plan of attack be?

-If you won the fight, would you eat the cow?

-What animal scares you the most?

-If you could have your own army of one kind of animal, what kind of army would you have?

-Why?

-Can you draw your favourite animal? or the hybrid you created?

-If all the animals turned to zombies, what weapon would you want to defend yourself?

-Where would you hide out?

A special thanks to Dallas’ lovely lady Jenna for filming/interviewing Dal. I’m sure she hears enough stupid things come out of Dallas’ mouth without any encouragement, so I apprectiate her taking the time and being a good sport.
Random, Roanisms, Video
Cobra Car Conversations Chapter One: Crackhouses
07.24.10 | Permalink | Comment?

This is the first installment (of many hopefully) of a new segment I call Cobra Car Conversations.

In this chapter we discuss the shitty neighbourhood we travel through on the way home from soccer practice, crack houses, meth labs, grow-ops, steroids, and Roan’s lack of growth and appetite, as well as his desire to get “fatter”, and how Gage was a dick at his birthday party.

My favourite parts: Josh’s misunderstanding of what goes on at a crackhouse, and his attempt at sneaking his seatbelt off while no one is looking (even after Roan showed him the proper way!!).
Life, Movies, Roanisms
Not Another TEAM Movie
07.11.10 | Permalink | Comment?

Thursday night Holly took me and the boys to the drive-in. We decided to see Knight and Day and A-Team, although Roan would have preferred to watch Karate Kid and Grownups. I told him the old Karate Kid movies were awesome, and that my “cobra” moniker was inspired by them so now I have to download them.

We took bets that Roan wouldn’t be awake for the second movie, but he managed to see the first ten or fifteen minutes. The next morning, he told Holly why he fell asleep.

Roan: Mom?

Holly: Yes love.

Roan: So, like, the reason that I fell asleep during the scond movie is that I just wasn’t into a team. Like, the first movie was good, but like I just didn’t care about a whole team.

Holly: Yea, Okay!

Roan: What?!? It’s true!

In my opinion the A-Team was the weaker of the two movies, but I’m surprised both boys passed out during it. It definitely had more action and less romance or adult humor than Knight and Day, yet both boys barely lasted the first act. I actually enjoyed Knight and Day, and I’ll probably watch it again some day. I hate Tom Cruise, but it was like a Bourne movie that wasn’t so serious.
Photos, Roanisms
Assualt rifles by Rousseau
06.27.10 | Permalink | Comment?

Holly’s dad brought over some guns he and the boys made out of wood this morning. They actually made them a few weeks ago, but they needed some extra work and then a coat of camo paint. The two large ones are modeled after Roan’s favourite Call of Duty gun the ACR. They look pretty awesome for being made out of scraps of wood and a piece of copper pipe. The smaller one is a mini-uzi. And of course, no commando would be caught dead without his bowie knife.

I kind of want to get a nice piece of wood and carve a gun for him. I’m dying to make stuff, but no longer have a shop or most of my tools. I have a bunch of ideas for how to make some sweet guns that have moving parts and things that come apart (like ammo clips, and scopes), and I’d love to make him both a rubber-band gun and a cork gun similar to the ones I had as a kid (although I’d make his cork gun a double barrel). I suppose I have enough tools here to make some neat stuff, but I need materials.
Roanisms
Holiday art, EQAO preps.
06.10.10 | Permalink | Comment?

Roan brought home a butt-load of school work the other day. Mixed in amongst some tests was some art and a Mother’s Day gift he forgot about. Above is an image of fireworks going off on Victorea Victoria Day, and just below we have our newest piece of refrigerator art: The Lost Mother’s Day Gift.

And then we have an example of one of Roan’s tests. He did pretty good on it, and might have done even better if his teacher understood his answers a little better.

Question 1:

a) unlikly

b) likly

c) posaball

d) inposball

Question 2:

a) certain = catch

b) unlikely = I’m 2

c) impossible = british colomba

d) likely = I’m 9

I love how he got the black crayon from the top image all over his test because he was just colouring so intense and didn’t realize he was colouring on it. I also love how the first answer makes no sense at all to me, but the third one is crystal clear – “impossible = british colomba”. He wants to go see BC so bad, but he knows we can’t go this year. His teacher obviously didn’t make that connection since she marked it with a question mark.
Music, Photos, Roanisms, Video
Roan. More pacifically, his vocal/artistic talents
06.02.10 | Permalink | Comment?

Roan brought this home from school yesterday. It’s about four pages long (like old dot matrix printer type of paper minus the feed edges) and, if you can’t tell, depicts a region of rain forest. It includes a monkey, a leopard, a cicada, a parrot, a bird I thought was a plane but according to the artist it’s an unknown tropical avian. We didn’t get much explanation other than that, because Roan’s parade was rained on when I dropped the ban-hammer on his xbox privileges for not following the rules earlier, so his pouting kicked in and communications shut down.

Holly decided to give him a bath since it wouldn’t get in the way of him pwn’n noobz, and part way through I happened to walk past the bathroom and hear him singing his favourite song: Billy Talent – Rusted From the Rain.

You may need to crank the volume for the first bit because I was trying not to get busted taping him and keeping a safe distance. Close to the end Holly comes down the stairs and when he hears her he asks her an awesome, completely random question. The things 9 year old boys think about while humming their favourite mainstream Mississaugin music…

I really need to introduce him to GWAR. Perhaps he’s a bit young for some of it though.