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Roanisms, Video
Cobra Inquisition: Animals
08.15.10 | Permalink | 1 Comment

Rwn

Duhltron

A little while ago I had an idea to ask Roan and Dallas a series of questions. I figure they both have a tendency to let their imagination travel to weird places, and could provide some humorous blog material. It also might be interesting to compare their responses given the 20 year age gap.

Here is the first installment of The Cobra Inquisition: Animals

-What’s your favourite animal?

-Why?

-What animal would you most like to ride?

-How many ACR rounds do you think it would take to bring down a T-rex?

-Would you eat a T-rex? (if it wasn’t full of bullets)

-Who do you think would win in a fight; a monkey riding a donkey with a .50 cal mounted on it, or a magic dolphin?

-Would you rather have the ability to fly like a bird, or stay under water like a fish?

-Why?

-Do you miss the dinosaurs?

-What’s your favourite colour of dragon?

-What is a hybrid?

-If you could combine two animals together to make your own hybrid, which two would you combine, and what would you call the new animal?

-Why do you think tigers and zebras have the same type of stripes?

-If you had to fight cow with your bare hands, what would your plan of attack be?

-If you won the fight, would you eat the cow?

-What animal scares you the most?

-If you could have your own army of one kind of animal, what kind of army would you have?

-Why?

-Can you draw your favourite animal? or the hybrid you created?

-If all the animals turned to zombies, what weapon would you want to defend yourself?

-Where would you hide out?

A special thanks to Dallas’ lovely lady Jenna for filming/interviewing Dal. I’m sure she hears enough stupid things come out of Dallas’ mouth without any encouragement, so I apprectiate her taking the time and being a good sport.
Animals, Video
Cobra cats play catch
08.13.10 | Permalink | Comment?

A few weeks ago we bought our cats a harness. Two of the four love it, the others are terrified. Shakespeare loves it, and he loves chasing apples if you throw them. I set up my camera hoping to catch the act of me throwing the apple, and him chasing, but my angle wasn’t wide enough and the apples are the same colour as the grass.

I wanted to add the Benny Hill theme to this clip, but I can’t seem to edit any video on my laptop, and I refuse to invest the time in figuring it out on another machine. So, imagine the Benny Hill theme as you watch. Enjoy!
Animals, Video
Aquacat
08.13.10 | Permalink | Comment?

I’ve come to the conclusion that Shakespeare is not only obsessed with water, but also an asshole. He loves the sink and the shower (sorry, no clip of us in the shower), and just recently he discovered the aquarium. Last night, Holly and I were relaxing, shooting zombies, when we heard the fish pump making a weird noise. We looked over and saw Shakespeare with his paw in the tank, swatting at fish. I ran upstairs and grabbed my camera, but by the time I got back down he had moved on from torturing fish, to drinking their home. He did dunk his paw back in a few times in this clip, but I really wish I had of caught him on camera right when he started. It was like a kid splashing in puddles after the rain.
Animals, Video
Shakespeare’s sink shower
08.05.10 | Permalink | 1 Comment

Today I turned the water on for Kanika (she likes to drink out of there) and Shakespeare busted in and stole her spot. I noticed he wasn’t only drinking the water, but also letting it run down the side of his face. I went downstairs and found my camera, hoping he would still be doing it when I got back. He was. I think he’d have spent all afternoon there if I hadn’t have turned off the faucet. To be honest, I could have watched him do it all afternoon, but I felt bad about wasting so much water.

Who would have thought a black cat could be so effin’ cute. Certainly not this cobra.
Random, Video
Guess who’s getting what for xmas!
07.30.10 | Permalink | Comment?

This made me laugh so hard when I saw it. I couldn’t even believe it was serious.

Now this model I see the potential in. It’s not being bought by women who care about their arm fat. It’s being bought by dudes who think they can pull some sort of Pavlovian brainwashing over on their wives.

- Honey, I can’t find my Shake Weight anywhere, and I always work out after Oprah – she’s so inspiring!

- Haven’t seen it dear. <shoves Shake Weight further into golf bag>

- Have you got anything lying about that fits comfortably in my hands and I can shake above my chest for 6 minutes?

- Uhm, let me have a look… In my pants!

This is also sort of funny, and relevant.
Random, Roanisms, Video
Cobra Car Conversations Chapter One: Crackhouses
07.24.10 | Permalink | Comment?

This is the first installment (of many hopefully) of a new segment I call Cobra Car Conversations.

In this chapter we discuss the shitty neighbourhood we travel through on the way home from soccer practice, crack houses, meth labs, grow-ops, steroids, and Roan’s lack of growth and appetite, as well as his desire to get “fatter”, and how Gage was a dick at his birthday party.

My favourite parts: Josh’s misunderstanding of what goes on at a crackhouse, and his attempt at sneaking his seatbelt off while no one is looking (even after Roan showed him the proper way!!).
Music, Video
Enter the Cobra
07.24.10 | Permalink | Comment?
On Tuesday we went to see Die Antwoord in Toronto. I was really hot and sweaty and Holly almost passed out, but it was a good show. We met Jon there, then ran into Ryan and Amber. I was surprised to see only one person in Darkside of the Moon boxer shorts, and also at how diverse the crowd was. I saw goth kids, club sluts, metal heads and just about every other stereotype imaginable.

Above is the intro to their set with one of their best tracks, and below is the last song they played (before the encore), which I think is their best track. I unfortunately didn’t record the whole thing because my arm was super tired.

Two very important things to note from the second video:
1. Ninja pushes a stupid girl off the stage
2. Yo-landi’s shiny gold pants make boners (coincidence we both have $’s in our names?)
Animals, Video
Bruce Vs My Camera Strap
07.20.10 | Permalink | 1 Comment

Last night I went to go hangout with my friend Dave and play some games (that’s code for smoke a joint). As soon as I sat down on his couch, Bruce climbed up on my lap and started being all cute. I pulled out my camera to get a photo, but the bastard moves too fast, and I decided to go for a video instead. I swapped the audio out with another free “Youtube song” that I felt was appropriate since mine and Dave’s conversation was not only really boring, but also top secret.

Unfortunately Bruce wasn’t expecting me, so he wasn’t sporting his manly muscle shirt, or his classy cardigan. I told Dave he looks like Bat Boy sometimes, and Dave said he reminds him of the cat people from Sleepwalkers. I think both are true.
Gaming, Video
Coach Cobra’s crash course in cheating
07.18.10 | Permalink | Comment?

Last year, when I was staying with Jeff and Dawn in Vancouver, Jeff and I would regularly play Nazi Zombies on his PS3. We never had much luck, rarely ever getting past the second round of dogs. Back then we had no strategy. Now I play with Holly almost once a day. Her and I can get to round 25 or so without any major problems, and just the other night set a new record of 33 rounds survived! One of the things that helps us survive so long is that we exploit a glitch which gets you a third gun.

I have been playing with Jeff in the mornings a lot lately, now that I have my headset back and a working PS3. Jeff and I regularly die before round 5. Once or twice we made it as high as round 18, and I convinced Jeff to attempt getting a third gun. He failed and his gun (along with his interest in playing) was lost.

Today Holly and I made a video of me getting a third gun, and I posted it to Youtube. I sent a link to Jeff, and hopefully he sees it. If any of you Cobra Comrades are tired of killing meat sacks with only 2 guns, just watch the above video tutorial.

*Special thanks to Holly for her excellent cinematography (it only took two takes!).
Life, Photos, The Mighty One, Video
M.F. Loomis Cobra
07.03.10 | Permalink | 1 Comment

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: the newest member of the Cobra Clan – Mighty Felix Loomis Clark. He was born July 1st shortly before 7am. He was 9lbs 4.2 ounces and is already almost two feet tall!! At that rate, I estimate his height at age 16 to be around 9′.

He’s got a sweet mohawk, and apparently loves boobs. There is no question regarding his authenticity as a cobra.

Expect more to come, but for now this will have to do as someone has come home and found her Marilyn Monroe picture smashed by a clumsy cobra who needs to go make it up to her somehow.